Are you being pressured by outside sources to do something you don't want to do? Perhaps your family really wants you to become a doctor but it is just not your passion. You have to realize that if you hate something but your family is pressuring you to do it, they are really only thinking about the money. Think about it. Why would they want you to do something that would make you hate your life?
When it comes down to it, the thing that really makes you happy with your life is performance. Aren't you the happiest when you're at your best, growing, and continually disciplining yourself? I dare you to think of a situation that contradicts this. Following a passion definitely helps you perform at your best but I want to talk about what helps you stay at your best. I had a mentor once who explained three theories that really affected performance in general.
The first is the theory of results which is the lowest form of living according to him. When people live in the state of results, they usually focus on whats happening. It's kind of weird that we are talking about performance and this first sate is essentially the worst way to live.
You never want to focus on JUST your results because you won't feel like working and, thus, won't have passion. You will base your mood on whether the Lakers win or not; or if you make enough MONEY. Some work a 9-5 job because they require a certain amount of MULAH to be happy. They will live their life at their job in complete misery usually at the expense of their performance. Even those that make 6 and 7 figures will feel this way if they live in the state of results.
So when a family member wants you to do something you don't like, they are usually living in this state. They may want you to achieve the result of working at a job that seems high status in society. Or, like I said, they may want you to obtain the result of many bills in your bank account. But before you take their advice, you should gauge how happy they are with their life. It's all about the money for them usually.
When you focus on results, your performance undoubtedly drops. Think about it. Don't you hate working when you aren't doing well? Here's the scenario. You perform badly and you don't want to work anymore, so you perform badly again, and the cycle repeats. Contrarily, when you perform very well you may get over excited and complacent which results again in a lack of effort.
People who focus on results are really obvious to spot. You may beat them in a game and they become very angry almost as if your ruined their day. Those people will live in a constant state of instability. Let's say, for instance, that a medical student wants to get a great grade on his MCAT and he performs very well on his practice tests. Won't he think it's fairly easy and possibly not study as hard? On the other hand, what if he constantly gets a bad score and is persistent? Won't it eventually get to him? That's what usually happens in the state of results.
The second state is the state of work, which is twice as good as results. These people tend to be satisfied with the amount of effort they put in rather than the results they achieve. They usually subscribe to the belief that eventually they'll make money if they just work hard enough.
Many times this is a great state to be in because it allows you to chip away at things and just see success as more of a process. This can be bad, however, when you start working hard but not smart. You may keep doing the same thing over and over when there is a better or more efficient way.
So you end up living your life almost beating your head against the wall. You keep putting effort in but you're not improving yourself. In this state, you aren't so focused on money but you normally won't be growing. That's when you see a man who is completely satisfied being a janitor. I know no one reading this wants to be a janitor; it's just not a very satisfying life in my opinion. The janitor, if he lives in the state of work, may be completely happy finishing his work, but completely unsatisfied with the direction of his life. He would be better off living in the state of being.
The state of being is ten times more powerful than the state of work. In this state, you focus on WHO YOU ARE BECOMING. You don't focus on how you are performing and you don't focus on what you are doing, you just want to improve. When you live in this state, you are at your happiest, performing the best, and constantly growing.
Every decision becomes one that will help you improve yourself. For instance, instead of becoming a doctor because you want to make a lot of money, you become a doctor because you know it will test your character, and because of it you will be a person who helps people. When in this state, you will perform much better.
You don't care if you fail a few times. You don't care if you get rejected by people or situations. You don't care that your circumstances are horrible at the moment. You don't care that you are not making as much money. My mentor told me once that personal income seldom exceeds personal growth. Isn't it funny that we focus on making money first, and feel that we will somehow be happier with more of it? The great thing about the theory of being is that when we become better people, the money flows in automatically.
Living in a state of being, you start keeping your word more often. You stop lying to yourself and others because you don't care about the consequences (results). You stop caring what others think because you know it just disempowers you. You stop failing to hit your goals because if you don't keep your word, you will assuredly be a worse person. Can you see how this works? Your performance will sky rocket if you focus on the state of being. Don't believe me? Try it yourself.
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